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Inquisition song

Inquisition song from Mel Broks' "History Of The World Part I"

The Inquisition (Let's begin)
The Inquisition (Look out sin)
We have a mission to convert the Jews (Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew)
We're gonna teach them wrong from right.
We're gonna help them see the light
and make an offer that they can't refuse. (That those Jews just can't refuse)
Confess, don't be boring.
Say yes, don't be dull.
A fact you're ignoring:
It's better to lose your skull cap than your skull (or your govalt!)
The Inquisition (what a show)
The Inquistion (here we go)
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away.
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!

"I was sitting in a temple. I was minding my own business.
I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass.
Then these Papists persons plungered and they throw me in a dungeon and
they shove a red hot poker up my ass.
Is that considerate? Is that polite?
And not a tube of Preperation H in sight!"

"I'm sittin' flickin' chickens and I'm lookin' throught the pickins'
and suddenly these goyim pull down valls.
I didn't even know them and they grabbed my by the scrotum and started
playing ping pong with my balls!
Ooh, the agony! Ooh, the shame!
To make my privates public for a game?"

The Inquisition (what a show)
The Inquisition (here we go)
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away.
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to-
"Hey Toquemada, walk this way."
"I just got back from the Auto-de-fe."
"Auto-de-fe? What's an Auto-de-fe?"
"It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway."
Will you convert? "No, no, no, no."
Will you confess? "No, no, no, no."
Will you revert? "No, no, no, no."
Will you say yes? "No, no, no, no!"
Now I asked in a nice way, I said, "Pretty please."
I bent their ears, now I'll work on their knees!
"Hey Toquemada, walk this way. We got a little game that you might
wanna play, so pull that handle, try you're luck."
"Who knows, Toq, you might win a buck!"

"How we doin', any converts today?"
"Not a one, nay, nay, nay."
"We flattened their fingers, we branded their buns!
Nothing is working! Send in the nuns!"

The Inquisition, what a show.
The Inquisition, here we go.
We know you're wishin' that we'd go away!
So all you Muslims and you Jews
We got big news for all of yous:
You'd better change your point of views TODAY!
'Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!

-Mel Brooks

Падаль

Charles Baudelaire - Fleurs du Mal

перевод взят из перевода Эллиса

Есть целый сайт посвященный этой книге.

Вы помните ли то, что видели мы летом?
 Мой ангел, помните ли вы
Ту лошадь дохлую под ярким белым светом,
 Среди рыжеющей травы?

Полуистлевшая, она, раскинув ноги,
 Подобно девке площадной,
Бесстыдно, брюхом вверх лежала у дороги,
 Зловонный выделяя гной.

И солнце эту гниль палило с небосвода,
 Чтобы останки сжечь дотла,
Чтоб слитое в одном великая Природа
 Разъединенным приняла.

И в небо щерились уже куски скелета,
 Большим подобные цветам.
От смрада на лугу, в душистом зное лета,
 Едва не стало дурно вам.

Спеша на пиршество, жужжащей тучей мухи
 Над мерзкой грудою вились,
И черви ползали и копошились в брюхе,
 Как черная густая слизь.

Все это двигалось, вздымалось и блестело,
 Как будто, вдруг оживлено,
Росло и множилось чудовищное тело,
 Дыханья смутного полно.

И этот мир струил таинственные звуки,
 Как ветер, как бегущий вал,
Как будто сеятель, подъемля плавно руки,
 Над нивой зерна развевал.

То зыбкий хаос был, лишенный форм и линий,
 Как первый очерк, как пятно,
Где взор художника провидит стан богини,
 Готовый лечь на полотно.

Из-за куста на нас, худая, вся в коросте,
 Косила сука злой зрачок,
И выжидала миг, чтоб отхватить от кости
 И лакомый сожрать кусок.

Но вспомните: и вы, заразу источая,
 Вы трупом ляжете гнилым,
Вы, солнце глаз моих, звезда моя живая,
 Вы, лучезарный серафим.

И вас, красавица, и вас коснется тленье,
 И вы сгниете до костей,
Одетая в цветы под скорбные моленья,
 Добыча гробовых гостей.

Скажите же червям, когда начнут, целуя,
 Вас пожирать во тьме сырой,
Что тленной красоты - навеки сберегу я
 И форму, и бессмертный строй.

Carcas

Charles Baudelaire - Fleurs du Mal

More translations

The Carcase

The object that we saw, let us recall,
This summer morn when warmth and beauty mingle —
At the path's turn, a carcase lay asprawl
Upon a bed of shingle.

Legs raised, like some old whore far-gone in passion,
The burning, deadly, poison-sweating mass
Opened its paunch in careless, cynic fashion,
Ballooned with evil gas.

On this putrescence the sun blazed in gold,
Cooking it to a turn with eager care —
So to repay to Nature, hundredfold,
What she had mingled there.

The sky, as on the opening of a flower,
On this superb obscenity smiled bright.
The stench drove at us, with such fearsome power
You thought you'd swoon outright.

Flies trumpeted upon the rotten belly
Whence larvae poured in legions far and wide,
And flowed, like molten and liquescent jelly,
Down living rags of hide.

The mass ran down, or, like a wave elated
Rolled itself on, and crackled as if frying:
You'd think that corpse, by vague breath animated,
Drew life from multiplying.

Through that strange world a rustling rumour ran
Like rushing water or a gust of air,
Or grain that winnowers, with rhythmic fan,
Sweep simmering here and there.

It seemed a dream after the forms grew fainter,
Or like a sketch that slowly seems to dawn
On a forgotten canvas, which the painter
From memory has drawn.

Behind the rocks a restless cur that slunk
Eyed us with fretful greed to recommence
His feast, amidst the bonework, on the chunk
That he had torn from thence.

Yet you'll resemble this infection too
One day, and stink and sprawl in such a fashion,
Star of my eyes, sun of my nature, you,
My angel and my passion!

Yes, you must come to this, O queen of graces,
At length, when the last sacraments are over,
And you go down to moulder in dark places
Beneath the grass and clover.

Then tell the vermin as it takes its pleasance
And feasts with kisses on that face of yours,
I've kept intact in form and godlike essence
Our decomposed amours!

— Roy Campbell, Poems of Baudelaire (New York: Pantheon Books, 1952)

Bill Gates on piracy in China

Bill Gates , CNET News, 1998-07-02, quoted from Fortune magazine, "July 20" issue for 1998

"Although about 3 million computers get sold every year in China, but people don't pay for the software," he said . "Someday they will, though. As long as they are going to steal it, we want them to steal ours. They'll get sort of addicted, and then we'll somehow figure out how to collect sometime in the next decade."